Some words have jumped out at us over the course of our work with funeral and memorial culture. This glossary explores the psychology of aging, death, dying, as well as funeral and memorial customs as reflected in language.
~A~
Active Dying - the process of physically dying; permanent cessation of bodily functions
Advance Directive
Advance Directive - a written document that indicates what types of medical treatments a person wants and whom the doctor should talk to when a person is unable to speak for himself/herself. This document is the combination of a Living Will and Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare.
Age-related Grief - Grief as that occurs in relation to one's age. The grief over lost youth.
Agnostic Funeral - funeral for a person who neither believes nor disbelieves in a deity, agnostics claim neither faith or disbelief
Al Kafan - (see burial shroud)
Arrangement Conference
Aqua pyre - (see hydro cremation)
Arrangement conference - the meeting with the funeral director in which you make plans for your loved one's funeral or memorial and the preferred method of disposition
Art Coffin - craft coffin used in memorial art therapy to write special messages and decorate with special artwork in tribute of the deceased
~B~
Basket Casket
Basket Casket - a casket that is fabricated of a natural woven material, often wicker, willow, bamboo, banana leaf, and seagrass
Bereavement Coordinator - coordinates the grief counseling to the families of the recently deceased
Blended Family - generally consists of one female and one male and the children from their prior relationships; may also include children from their present relationship
Burial - also referred to as interment; generally refers to earth burial at a cemetery or a natural woodland burial
Burial Basket - (see basket casket)
Burial Doll - effigy created in likeness of missing person for the purpose burial rites in memorial art therapy; promotes closure for families of missing persons
Burial Garments - clothing selected and worn by the deceased for burial or cremation
Burial Pod - biodegradable papier mâché burial container
Burial Swaddling - cloth used to wrap infants that have died in preparation of burial
Burial Tree - tree planted in memory of the deceased, may or may not be placed at the gravesite
~C~
Cadaver - a dead human body used for the purposes of medical research, study, anatomical dissection and transplantation.
Casketry - selection of burial coffins and caskets found in a funeral home's merchandise display room
La Catrina
la Catrina - Originally drawn by Jose Guadalupe Posada, La Catrina is a female skeleton caricature of the rich and wealthy and sysymbolizes that no matter how much money we have, we cannot escape death. La Catrina is used in many Day of the Dead (el dia de los muertos) decorations and statues. (See Day of the Dead below)
Celebrant - a person who officiates a personalized and meaningful memorial or funeral ceremony
Celebrant
Cemetery Arts - monuments or art installations present at cemeteries for the purpose of memorialization
Chevrah Kadisha - In the Jewish faith, a group of men or women from the synagogue who are assigned to care for the dead
Columbarium - an standing structure with spaces (niches) where cremated remains are secured
Committal service - a brief graveside service held before the casket or urn is placed into the ground or columbarium
Contemporaneity - existing or occurring in the same period of time
Corpse - a dead human body
Corpse Dog - (also incorrectly referred to as Cadaver Dog) dogs used for locating the dead in disasters
Coroner - an official in a community responsible for researching unexplicable, violent and or sudden deaths
Cortege - a procession of vehicles driving from the funeral service to the place of disposition (usually the cemetery)
Fire-based Cremation
Cremation - the Greek originated method of reducing the dead body small bone fragments by fire (flame based) or present day, by treated water (alkaline hydrolysis) (see hydro cremation)
Crone movement - A movement that takes its name from the archetype of the older woman, as a symbol of wisdom and strength (also known as crone energy)
Crypt - an above ground burial site inside a mausoleum
~D~
Dia de los Muertos / Day of the Dead Skeletons
Day of the Dead (el dia de los muertos) - a holidayy, usually celebrated on November 2nd in Mexico and other Central and South American countries when people honor and pay tribute to deceased relatives by decorating the grave and setting up an altar of food and gifts as tribute to the deceased at home. Skeleton imagery and statues are often used as part of the decorations. (Learn more about the history of the holiday by viewing our video on Day of the Dead.)
Death Doula - one (can be either a male or female) who aids the dying through the final dying process and often prepares the body for viewing once death has occurred.
Death Midwife - female version of death doula
Oregon hasDeath with Dignity Law Since 1994
Death with Dignity - in Oregon, a 1994 Measure established the U.S. state of Oregon's Death with Dignity Act (ORS 127.800-995[1]), which legalizes physician-assisted dying with certain restrictions. Passage of this initiative made Oregon the first U.S. state and one of the first jurisdictions in the world to permit some terminally ill patients to determine the time of their own death. (Visit the Death with Dignity national center for more info)
Decompiculture - refers to how decomposing organisms could be grown or cultured for a variety of uses, for instance to decompose waste; in human burial, refers to cultivating fungi for the purpose of facilitating corpse decomposition.
Direct cremation - immediate cremation without a funeral or memorial service
Direct burial - immediate burial without a funeral service
Disaster Veterinary - an emergency response veterinary team deployed to disasters for the purpose of collecting, treating and caring for displaced animals (Visit the AVMA Disaster Veterinary page)
Doll Urn - anthropomorphic doll used to hold cremated remains, often in the form of a soft stuffed animal or bear
DNR - Stands for Do Not Resuscitate. It is a request to not have cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if your heart stops and/or if you stop breathing
~E~
Embalming Fluid
Embalming - (see hygienic treatment)
Entombment - placement of a casket in an above-ground structure (mausoleum)
Enzyme Hydrolysis - (see hydro cremation)
Ethical Will - a document written by the dying to pass along ethical values, life lessons and wishes for the surviving loved ones; a practice that originated with the Lakota Sioux and the Hebrews (read more on ethical wills )
~F~
Family-Led Funeral - (see home funeral)
Family Led Funeral
Fantasy Coffin - Decorative coffins made in bright colors and bold shapes that are themed in celebration of the way the deceased lived; an idea that originated in Ghana
Final Disposition - the performance of final services pertaining to the dead (Next of Kin decides this for each person)
Fluctuating capacity - when the patient sometimes has the mental ability to make his or her own decisions and sometimes does not have the ability
Funeral - a ceremony honoring the life of a person who has died where the body is present for the service (not to be confused with memorial which takes place without the body present)
Funeral Fundraiser - a fundraising effort used to aid a family in the funeral expenses of a loved one, often in the cases of unexpected deaths
Funeralogy - the study of funeral rituals, ceremonies, culture and customs
~G~
Ghost Bike
G-Burial - abbreviated version of green burial
Gerontophobia - the fear of growing old, or a hatred or fear of the elderly.
Green Burial - natural earth burial without the use of chemicals, graveliners or crypts, usually in biodegradable containers (read more on green burial)
Ghost Bicycle - a bike painted entirely white (including tires), that is affixed where a fatal bike accident occurred (usually in an urban setting or on a roadside), in memoriam of one who has died; the practice of which originated from the United Kingdom (see a ghost bike )
Grave liner - concrete slabs used instead of a vault, to support the earth load inside of a grave (not used in green burial) (see how a vault supports the earth load)
Grief Facilitator - (see bereavement coordinator)
Guardian
Guardian - A court-appointed person who is assigned to make decisions for an incapacitated person. This person may also be called a conservator. This person is often in charge of medical decisions and or financial decisions.
~H~
HIPPA - Health Information Portability and Accountability Act; A law that protects medical information and gives individuals the right to decide who will and will not have access to his/her own personal health information (see more info on the HIPPA act )
Holistic End-of-Life Care - focused on continuity of care from aging well, dying, death, funeralization and after care
Holographic Will - a will that is written entirely by hand of the person the will belongs to
Home-Funeral - a funeral that is held in the home of the decedant; it may be with or
Home Funeral
without the assistance of a funeral director, but can alleviate the need to move the deceased to a funeral home (read about home funerals) (also known as family-led funeral)
Honorarium - the charitable fee typically paid to a clergy person or celebrant for officiating the funeral or memorial ceremony, or for the musicians or soloists for their performances in the ceremony
Humanist - Humanism is a broad category of ethical philosophies that affirm the dignity and worth of all people, based on the ability to determine right and wrong by appealing to universal human qualities, particularly rationality, without resorting to the supernatural or alleged divine authority from religious texts.
HydroCremation
Hydro Cremation -the environmentally friendly version of cremation that reduces human remains to small bone fragments through the process of hydrolysis, using water, heat, agitation and an alkali solution (also known as bio-cremation and resomation) (read more about hydro cremation)
Hygienic Treatment - the intravascular cleansing of the circulatory system of the dead human body for the purposes of slowing putrefaction and for disease control during extended viewing or travels (also known as embalming)
~I~
Iatrogenic illness - induced inadvertently by a physician or surgeon or by medical treatment or diagnostic procedures & iatrogenic rash
Identity-stripping - All persons flying on commercial airlines would be identity-stripped by a database that would include their names, phone numbers, addresses, dates of birth, their traveling companions and itineraries, how tickets were paid, rental car information and destinations, names and addresses of businesses the passenger has used, all information about their current and past car ownership and even newspaper subscriptions. Gullette's use is different. Gullette's idea is a more personal loss/sense of identity, whereas the above definition refers to an exposure of one's personal information.
~J~
Jinazah - a funeral or funeral prayer for Muslims (in Islam)
~K~
Kin
Kin - one's relatives, referring to blood relationship. (Next of kin has right of final disposition for one who has died.)
~L~
Life cycle - The biological cycles of life from conception to death.
Life Story Review - the review and collection of one's biographical history and important life events, often in a hospice setting, but sometimes collected during pre-need funeral arrangements (how to collect a life review)
Living Will - a written document that indicates what types of medical treatments are desired. This can be specific or general. It can also be called an Advance Directive.
Living Funeral - a pre-death celebration of life to honor one who is nearing the end of life; the tone is often celebratory, but can be serious in nature as well (read more about living funerals and activities )
~M~
Memorial Art Therapy
Mausoleum - a small building in a cemetery that where a body is interred above ground
Memorial - a service or ceremony honoring the life of a person who has died, the body is not present for this service. Cremated remains (ashes) may or may not be present. (Not to be confused with funeral)
Memorial Art Therapy - the therapeutic use of art to address and heal grief; artwork made in memory of one who has died; can include works that incorporate a loved ones cremated ashes, artifacts or hair (cremation jewelry with ashes incorporate into the art piece)
Memorial Ecosystem - the biological community of interacting organisms within the cemetery environment
Memorial Fundraiser - (see funeral fundraiser)
Memorial Telecast - the transmission of funeral/memorial services over the internet or television
Memorialogy - the study of memorialization and remembrances
Mortuary Arts - the science and study of preserving human remains for the purpose of viewing
Mourning Wear - clothing that communicates one is grieving, historically this was worn for a designated period of time after a death (see photos of historic mourning clothing)
~N~
Niche - a space in a cemetery columbarium that holds cremated remains (ashes) permanently for visitation
~O~
Obituary
Obituary - a notice placed in a newspaper that announces the death to the community, covers a briefly write up on the person's life and may or may not invites readers to attend a funeral or memorial
Ontological - the branch of metaphysics dealing with the nature of being.
Out Funeral - a funeral that celebrates the lifestyle preference of the individual in addition to honoring the deceased
~P~
Private Property Burial
Pallbearers - the people who carry the casket from the funeral ceremony to the hearse and from the hearse to the gravesite
POLST - Physicians Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatments, which is a doctor's order form that documents the patient's wishes, not only about CPR but for other end-of-life choices. (Visit Official POLST website for Oregon)
Private Property Burial - burial on one's home property, the legality of which is usually determined by local ordinances (view more info on private property burial)
~Q~
Quasi -Property Theory - the legal theory pertaining to the dead human body whereby rights to the body are only associated with disposition purposes only; no other property rights to the body exist.
~R~
Rental Coffin / Rental Casket
Rental Coffin - a coffin that is used purely for the funeral service and not utilized for final burial or cremation. It is designed to accommodate a fitted liner which the body is laid within, the liner is then placed inside the rental coffin and removed immediately after services, usually used in cases of cremation
Restorative Art - a term that refers to repair of the dead body to make it presentable for final viewing
~S~
Sindone or Tachrichim aka Burial Shroud
Second Burial - when a body is exhumed after some time, then cremated and placed in a family columbarium (usually occurs in traditional Asian cultures)
Secular Funeral - a funeral service focused on celebrating the individual's life and accomplishments; not religious or spiritual in nature
Sindone - (see burial shroud)
Somatic Death - activation-induced cellular death, cessation of life
~T~
Tachrichim - a Jewish burial shroud that is typically handsewn and made of white linen
Thanatology - the study of death
~U~
Cremation Urn
Urn - A container used to hold the ashes (cremated remains) of one who has been cremated. Urns are presently offered in a variety of shapes, sizes and materials. (see photos of handmade plush cremation urns or handwoven cremation urns)
~V~
Vault around casket
Vault - a concrete or metal container into which the casket is placed in a traditional cemetery burial (green burial grounds require that vaults not be used) (learn how a vault is used to support the earth load)
Village Memorial - When family, friends and neighbors (community) comes together to celebrate a life, and or participate in end of life care.
Visitation - a scheduled time for family and friends to view the person who died (also referred to as a viewing)
Yahrzeit - anniversary of the death (in the Jewish faith)
Yizkor - a memorial service that is recited 4 times a year (in the Jewish faith)
~Z~
Zenetery - a cemetery that is styled in the tradition of the Japanese Zen Garden
Ziegler Case - a metal container that is gasket-sealed and used for shipping human remains either inside of a casket, or on its own
Are there any words or meanings you found especially interesting? Are there subjects or terminology that you feel should be included here? Please share.
“Although none of us get out of this world alive,
only 10 percent of us die suddenly, without any warning. What that means is
that 90 percent of us have the opportunity to think ahead, plan ahead, and make
our wishes for our unique last chapter”, says Maggie Callanan (2008). Sadly,
even with well-planned preparations, the wishes of the dying may not be
honored.
When my cousin Gus, was diagnosed with terminal
cancer, he shifted his entire focus on understanding his condition, researching
it, and sending voluminous emails documenting his experiences. As Maggie
Callanan (2008) notes, her advice to newly diagnosed patients is “to get a
small spiral notebook, about five by eight inches, and start keeping notes;
dates of doctors visits, lab work and medication prescribed, and important
contact names and numbers.” Having been a master planner, a calculating civil
engineer that reveled in the design and construction of large-scale dam
projects, Gus was this thorough and consistent in documenting his illness. Moira
Cairns (2003) says that, “the development of a death plan includes three parts:
the reflection, the construction, and the communication.” Gus sent the family
long reflective emails detailing his treatments, and later communicated his
personal plans and wishes for his impending departure.
Although death is a fact of life most people tend
to avoid discussing, Jean Shinoda Bolen’s notes in her 1999 book “Close to the
Bone” that “Life is a terminal condition, after all. It is a matter of when and
how we die, not whether we will.” So, estate planners and funeral directors
alike work to market the idea of pre-planned end to address peace of mind of
one’s survivors.
Gus
was a planner. Although he did not have a family of his own, he wanted to ease
the burdens of his passing on his four siblings, his cousins and his one and
only aunt. On more than one visit, Gus brought out a box of books detailing
exactly how he had wanted his affairs to be managed. The books contained his
estate planning documents, his will, his advanced directives, and other
instructions. The books included consultations with attorneys, but mostly Legal
Zoom documents, as Gus wanted to do as much as he could on his own. He wanted
us to know what the box looked like and where he kept it, so his wishes would
be followed. Gus had also saved the documents to the desktop of his computer so
that there would be redundancy. Yet, when Gus died all these documents vanished.
The box of Gus’ legal wishes went missing and the
documents disappeared from his computer. Not only were the documents all
missing but the titles to his vehicles had been mysteriously singed over to his
new “friend” John, a man he had met in outside the chemotherapy wing of a
cancer ward the year before. The cars and possessions which had been promised
to family, were either missing or granted to his new friend John. His home got
repossessed by his bank. Although Gus’ siblings tried to fight for them, the
attorney for the family said, it would be too difficult to retrieve the cars
because the titles were signed off on. He said it was a “hard case and the cars
had limited value.” It was very difficult for my family to accept that Gus of
all people could have been deceived.
Given
how intelligent and rational Gus was, no one in our family could have imagined
Gus being taken advantage of. Gus had everything planned from his estate down
to how he planned to end his own life if his suffering became too unbearable.
Such extensive planning and preparation made it difficult for anyone to think
that someone could take advantage of Gus, and yet that is exactly what
happened.
If it happened to Gus, it could happen to you.
“What a sad way….to die,” said Maggie Callanan recapping a similar dismissal of
one’s dying wishes in her 2008 book, “Final Journeys”.Callanan said, “She’d been so careful
to make sure her wishes were known. But she should have chosen someone…who
shared her philosophy.”Like
Callanan’s patient, Gus believed he had chosen a person who would carry out his
detailed wishes to the letter, but was terribly mistaken.
Perhaps Gus’s condition was to blame. In Moira
Cairns (2003) book, “Transitions In Dying & Bereavement, A psychosocial
Guide for Hospice and Palliative Care” she suggests that people “Patients may
be disoriented and need someone to help them make decisions.”Like Cairn’s advice, Marilyn Howell’s
book “Honor thy Daughter” (2011), describes how her daughter’s cancer left her
“more muddled, less able to think straight, and less able to decide what she
wanted…She needed someone at her side who understood the medical options and
had no financial interest in the choices.” But unfortunately for Gus, he lived
far away from family and refused their help. Without family around, and deep
into suffering with stage IV cancer, Gus accepted the help of his “friend”
John. We can only assume that his condition clouded his judgment. As Marilyn
Howell notes in her 2011 book, “paranoia and delusions were either the side
effects of [her daughter] Mara’s medications or the result of her tumors, which
produced chemicals that could have such effects on her brain.” This could help
explain why Gus trusted a complete stranger he met through a chance encounter
over his own family.
Initially when first diagnosed, Gus learned how
to navigate the health system well. As Callanan notes in her book (2008), she
recommends that healthcare workers “provide information on how to navigate the
system and link it to preexisting systems. For example, clarify the role of the
patient’s specialist and family physician, explain procedures, expectations,
and services available. When people understand how the system works, they feel
more confident and are better able to advocate for themselves.” Gus’ intellect
drove him to understand his situation thoroughly, and to become his own
healthcare advocate.
Gus was very independent. He demanded to live on
his own terms. He insisted he would fight his cancer initially. The odds were
in his favor. But, unlike Howell’s concern over the judgment had her daughter
“refused chemotherapy, how would we have handled the anger and judgment of
friends who believed nothing else could save her” (2011), Gus did not care
about others’ concerns. When it became clear that chemo was no longer working,
he decided he could no longer bear the treatments, which made him so
uncomfortably ill. As Callanan notes, “It is important to acknowledge the
difference between quality of life and quantity of life. It’s equally important
to understand the benefits and burdens of the decisions you make regarding
treatment” (2008). Most of us never questioned Gus’ decisions regarding his
health. Many in our family trusted he was well informed, and making decisions
based on weighing all his options. But others had a hard time letting go.My mother, who insisted in an email
begging him to “hold on for a cure” really angered Gus. Clearly, she didn’t
understand Gus' mindset or his condition.
In
her 1999 book, “Handbook for Mortals” Joanne Lynn, M.D. notes the risks of
leading patients to believe their condition is better off than it is. She
notes, “On one hand, you’re the doctor, and you want to provide hope,” but “On
the other hand, you can inflict a great amount of harm. There’s a great
potential to cause even more pain with pointless treatments.” Gus did not want
to be tied to machines to keep him alive. He was resolute that he was going to
stay home and die independently. On one visit Gus brought a case out to show me
his gun. It was new and I could not help but admire the design while
simultaneously feeling horrified that he was thinking of taking his own life.
But he told me there wasn’t anything to worry about; the gun was simply an
insurance policy that gave him comfort. He wanted the assurance of a quick way
out should his suffering become too unbearable. Author Neal Nicol states, “The
law does not recognize mercy killing as a reason to kill somebody” (2006). Part
of me wanted to take the weapon from him, but I felt that it was not my place
to do so. Only he knew what he was going through and if I were in the same
situation I might feel the same sense of comfort in holding such a weapon.
Lucky for us, this never came to pass. Thanks to hospice and pain management,
he would feel well in control for some time.
In the end, Gus outlived his projected lifespan
by at least one full year. Toward the end of his life, a peculiar change
occurred with his communications. His emails emphatically rejected family
requests to visit. Later we learned that John was answering Gus’s emails and
managing his affairs while Gus was incoherent. Gus living so far from family
(roughly 4 hours away from his siblings) gave “caregiver” John the delay he
needed to negotiate Gus’ valuables before family could arrive. The legacy
Gus’ had intended to bequeath to his family vanished, while both the police and attorneys
would insist that this happens all the time and there was nothing that could be
done about it. It was a rude awakening to see how the dying can be taken
advantage of with no repercussions for the criminals who hurt them.
Moving on, the family could only move forward
with Gus’ final wishes for his remains. Gus wanted to be cremated and the
family found a local funeral home to take Gus and perform the cremation. Gus
was a big fan of Corona beer as it had been the drink of choice for all family
gatherings and parties. Thus, Gus asked that instead of being placed in an urn,
he wanted his remains to be placed in Corona beer bottles and distributed among
his siblings. Before he died, he told me he could not imagine a better place to
rest in peace.
Sadly, the caregiver theft in Gus’ final days has
tainted our final memories of Gus. It is difficult to put aside the frustration
and anger at how he was taken advantage of by his caregiver. While I realize
that this is not a unique story, it changed my belief in planning for my own
final days. I no longer believe that planning alone will secure that my own
wishes will be followed. I don’t have an answer for how to address this growing
problem, other than we need to do more as a community to be watchful of our
family, friends, and neighbors. We need to take steps to educate our community
to recognize the signs of thieves masquerading as friends. Those who prey on
the dying exist in every community and can only be stopped if we are watchful
and vigilant about protecting the dying.
REFERENCES –
Marilyn Howell (2011)
Honor Thy Daughter, A Family’s Search for Hope and Healing, Multidisciplinary
Association for Psychedelic Studies
Joanne Lynn, M.D. (1999)
Handbook for Mortals, Guidance for people facing serious illness, Oxford
University Press, USA
Maggie Callanan (2008)
Final Journey, A Practical Guide For Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of
Life, Bantam
Shinoda Bolen (1996)
Close to the Bone, Life-Threatening Illness and the Search for Meaning,
Scribner
Moira Cairns (2003)
Transitions In Dying & Bereavement, A psychosocial Guide for Hospice and
Palliative Care, Health Professions Pr
Neal Nicol (2006)
Between the Dying and the Dead, University of Wisconsin Press Terrace Books,
University of Wisconsin Press
