Assisted Living for LGBT Seniors

Case Study

Robert and Jack are a homosexual couple, both in their 70’s, looking into assisted living options for their future needs. They have two preferences: a community that is supportive of their lifestyle and one that is intergenerational. The couple does not have financial difficulties that would limit their choices in facilities, so this is not a barrier to their search.

First Preference Options: Communities in Existence or Under Development?

            As Robert and Jack seek a supportive community that isn’t predominantly heterosexual, I might suggest they look into an LGBT retirement community. On the GLARP (Gay and Lesbian Association of Retiring Persons, Inc.) website, there are listings of retirement communities that already exist as well as some in the planning stages[1].

Since Robert and Jack are both in generally good health, they might be interested in looking in into the communities currently under development or those with plans to open an assisted living portion of the facility. The GLARP is working on a “Desert Resort Retirement Community”[2] where seniors can move in healthy, transition into assisted living, and then into a skilled nursing center. According to their site, “GLARP is in the course of securing a parcel of land within Palm Springs, California.” Other facilities in the planning stages include “Rainbow Visions” of Santa Fe, NM and “Stonewall Community” of Boston, MA.

If Robert and Jack prefer a community that already exists, so they may visit and get a feel for the place, we may want to explore other options. On the GLARP website, they list a GLBT retirement community, “Palms of Manasota” in Sarasota, Florida, with plans for opening an assisted living facility in their already existing retirement community.[3] In Gresham, OR, the “Rainbow Vista” describes itself as “Active Gay Living Community” and accommodates senior living for those ages 55+.[4] However, like the “Palms of Manasota”, “Rainbow Vista” does not presently have an assisted living facility[5], which would make “Rainbow Vista” a poor choice for Robert and Jack’s needs for continuing care. In Santa Rosa, CA, the new “Fountaingrove Lodge” expected to open this year is “a retirement community being built primarily for gay men and lesbians”[6]. Fountaingrove Lodge is first in the nation to combine “independent living and continuing care, including assistance for those with failing memories” specifically for gay men and lesbians.[7]

Second Preference Options: Intergenerational Experiences

            Although it appears most retirement communities are not intergenerational in residency, there are alternative options that could meet Robert and Jack’s needs. Places like “Friendly House” in Portland, OR connect “all ages and backgrounds through quality educational, recreational and other life-sustaining services”[8]. Also providing intergenerational experiences is “GenTog” in Tigard, Oregon, where seniors and children can spend time together as part of an Adult Day Care program.[9] Although these intergenerational activities would take place outside the retirement/assisted living community, they could help meet Robert and Jack’s needs to engage in activities that are intergenerational.

Conclusion

For Robert and Jack, “Fountaingrove Lodge” appears to be the best fit because it provides transitional care, caters to gay and lesbian seniors, and is opening soon. For intergenerational experiences, perhaps they can suggest or work with “Fountaingrove Lodge” to improve activities for the community by including younger generations for special events or happenings. Their other alternative is to seek intergenerational community day activity centers for intergenerational experiences. Either way, Robert and Jack can still meet their intellectual needs while receiving the care they need in a community that understands and supports their lifestyle.

Have you or your loved one experienced difficulty or success finding a retirement community or assisted living facility that supports a LGBT lifestyle? Please share.

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[1] http://www.gaylesbianretiring.org/lgbt-retirement-communities/

[2] http://www.gaylesbianretiring.org/glarp/

[3] http://palmsofmanasota.org/

[4] http://rainbowvista.com/

[5] http://rainbowvista.com/Questions.html

[6] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/24/us/at-fountaingrove-lodge-in-santa-rosa-a-gay-retirement-community.html?_r=2&

[7] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/24/us/at-fountaingrove-lodge-in-santa-rosa-a-gay-retirement-community.html?_r=2&

[8] http://www.friendlyhouseinc.org/about-us/

[9] http://gentog.com/

Widows Face Caregiving Needs Alone

Many friends I have are either widows or in second or third marriages to younger men. The fact that women outlive their men is a fact many women will face, though I see the strength it has provided some of my friends. My good friend Lily, widowed for four years, says she can now eat what she wants, when she wants, and without complaints. She cleans the house and kitchen and it stays clean for days or until she messes it up herself. She travels alone on long road trips to visit friends or family. She spends time pursuing her multiple hobbies and interests without anyone to hold her back or complain. Without her husband to stop her, Lily was finally able to sell and move out of the house they shared and move into a smaller apartment, something she’d been wanting to do for nearly a decade. Lily is just one of the women I’ve seen thrive in widowhood. As Ray (2004) refers to Helibrun’s essays, “the move toward self-knowledge and authenticity, the freedom to choose our own projects without guilt or self-recrimination, the importance of perpetual becoming – vibrate with crone energy” (p. 116). For my widow friends, life as a single person in later life has not been a death sentence but key to freedoms unavailable to them during marriage – namely “crone energy”.

Not only do most women outlive their spouses and live many years alone, their health in later years may require additional caregiving. If they have been long time caregivers beforehand, they may have spent or lost opportunities for significant retirement savings. “‘Women who take early retirement or otherwise modify their employment to provide care not only lose wages and wage-related benefits, but also jeopardize their own sources of income for their later years’” (Holstein, 1999, p. 233). When women begin to need long-term care themselves, lack of funds can create complications as “Medicare does not reimburse long-term care and covers home health care only if there is no one at home to provide it” (Nelson, 1999, p. 90).

“The longer lives of women and the relatively older ages of men at marriage mean that men have spouses to care for them while women are likely to be widows” (Holstein, 1999, p. 230). Considering my friend Cat’s second husband turns 80 years old next year, and she is still in her 50s, she will likely outlive her husband. In later life, she will probably require an in home caregiver or need to move to a retirement home. She will be just one of many women facing her caregiving needs alone.

References:
Holstein, M. (1999). Home Care, Women, and Aging: A Case Study of Injustice. In M. U. Walker (Ed.), Mother Time. Women, Aging, and Ethics. (pp. 227-244). Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

Nelson, H. L. (1999). Stories of My Old Age. In M. U. Walker (Ed.), Mother Time. Women, Aging, and Ethics. (pp. 75-95). Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

Ray, R. E. (2004). Toward the Croning of Feminist Gerontology. Journal of Aging Studies. 18.1. (pp. 109-121).

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