The Whales of August

Having recently been catching up on the long, historic career of Bette Davis, I was looking forward to watching one of her last films, “The Whales of August.” In the film, Bette Davis and Lillian Gish play elderly sisters. Bette’s character, “Libby” is blind and her sister “Sarah” (Lillian Gish) cares for her and maintains the home they share.

This film shed a very positive light on aging. Seniors were depicted as independent and able to care for themselves. They helped each other instead of relying on younger friends, family or caregivers. I wish I saw more of this in television and advertising. The only other media depiction of seniors I’ve seen that comes close is the “Golden Girls” where the women support each other through life’s events. However, even one of the characters on the Golden Girls, (Sofia), is cared for by a younger, though senior aged, daughter.

“The Whales of August” depicts seniors as active (walking, cleaning, cooking, maintaining health and wellbeing, visiting friends, paining oil paintings and arranging flowers). The characters blend their past, present and futures in healthy ways as they hold onto and honor traditions, but still find enjoyment the present and find future events to look forward to.

What was also notably different in this film was the way the characters embraced aging. Blind Libby asks her sister if her hair was as white as a swan. When her sister says she believes it is, Libby comments that she’d always had beautiful hair. I cannot recall any film or media character embracing age so gracefully. The two sisters in the film also dressed up for company and took great pride in the care of their hair. They did not complain about their age, appearance, or life. While I do not see this as being realistic for many, as many people have real problems to contend with, I do see it as a model for enjoying life.

By not focusing on the negatives (not once does Libby complain she is blind or cannot see what others are discussing - photos, jewelry, flowers, ocean view), there is more time to focus on the positives or approach things a new way. For instance, blind Libby is able to feel the flowers, jewelry, or sunshine, and hear a description of the photographs. She even agrees to the installation of a picture window in their living room, though she won’t be able to see out of it herself. She comments on how nice the day feels by the warmth of the sun coming in through the window. Libby depicts a woman who is perfectly content with these filtered observations, and I imagine the lesson to viewers is to enjoy interacting with others regardless and not feel sorry for oneself.

Anderson, L. (Director), Berry, D. (Writer). (1987). The Whales of August. [DVD]. USA: MGM.

All content © Village Memorial 2009-2010.

Musings on Growing Older

Valerie Harper (2001) opens her book with some American perceptions on aging and women’s beauty. She mentions the invisible “shelf life” on women in the media as “ageism is practiced by the networks” to the point of being unrealistic. “If life imitated television…mom would be thirty, and grandma would be thirty-three” (p. 10-11).

Harper mentions a couple positive ways in which American beauty standards have changed over the last few decades. “Flight attendants now look like America,” Harper says, as they are no longer bound to 1940’s era rules of being “single, female, white, under age twenty-seven, between 105 and 125 pounds, and between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet seven inches” (p. 24). Sizes of dresses for women have also lowered. What used to be a size 10 is currently a size 8 or 6.

Harper touches on the extremes women go through to maintain beauty (hot waxing, breast implants, lip plumping), and the ridiculousness of dieting (diet fibs, beating oneself up mentally, and diet fads). She easily sums up the mind of many dieters when she says, “many of us think of food in one of two ways. It’s either legal (a lettuce leaf) or illegal (a brownie)” (p. 84). She makes a personal realization of overeating, “I…came to the understanding that the problems I once had with food were not merely about food Eating was a way of trying to fill up the emptiness, to provide comfort” (p. 88).

Harper moves on to role models for women. She mentions FLASH (“a senior woman’s hockey team in Chicago”), Gloria Steinem’s first marriage at the age of 66, and actress Ruth Gordon’s remarkable attitude on growing older (p. 95). Ruth once told Valerie, “I made a decision…that I could get old, or I could get older. That was my choice. I didn’t have the choice to stay young. I decided to get older instead of getting old. Because old is a destination. Older is a process and a path” (p. 95-96). Harper also quotes actress Sophia Loren, “There is a fountain of youth. It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age” (p. 155).

Harper also explores the power of positive thinking with her chapter on “humor replacement therapy.” Humor has been shown to reduce stress, raise your pain threshold, and boost your immune system. In one study, people listening to twenty minutes of [comedienne] Lily Tomlin doing her telephone operator routine were much less sensitive to pain than those listening to an academic lecture” (p. 132). She points out some favorite comics she follows online “MinniePauz.com”(p. 139) and leads out of her book with some additional encouragement. “Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t care so much what other people thought of us?” (p.144) “Wouldn’t it be great if looking good wasn’t tied up with looking young?” (p. 144).
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Always curious on new attitudes on aging, I was interested in to read actress Valerie Harper’s views as she entered her sixties. This book focuses on the positives of life and aging, of looking at life in a more confident way, and not putting oneself down. It lightheartedly addresses some of the darker or more comical things in our American beauty standards, but without putting people down who engage in such practices. It asks questions without accusing and reminds me a great deal of author/poet Judith Viorst’s poems on aging which approach aging with a touch of humor that is more positive than negative.

Harper, V. (2001). Today I am a Ma’am, And Other Musings on Life, Beauty, and Growing Older. New York: Cliff Street Books.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Women & Aging in the Media

1. Zimmerman, Ann. “A Grandma or Grandpa by Any Other Name Is Just as Old.” The Wall Street Journal. 23 Jan 2009.

I found this article in the Wall Street Journal back in January. The article was an unforgettable one, which discussed the way some “boomers” are not feeling that the traditional names of “grandma”, “grandpa”, “granny” or “gramps” fit how they see themselves. Some of these individuals are choosing their own names that their grandchildren can call them in which they can continue to feel youthful despite their role as grandparents (a role generally perceived as occurring when older in age). I believe that if it makes new grandparents feel more individual, unique or even younger to have a name that fits their own ideas of self, they should have the right to decide that. No one should be made to feel bad about how they view themselves just to comply with traditional monikers.

2. Keane, Jeff and Bill. “Family Circus.” Cartoon. Houston Chronicle. 17 Apr. 2009.

I liked this comic specifically because I felt it addressed the question of “When is an old woman old?” In this comic, the child sees her mother as being old when one could imagine that the child’s mother sees her own grandmother or mother as being old. Age, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Perception plays a key role in who views a woman as being old. Additionally, this comic reminded me of the cyclical fact of time and age in how there always will be someone older than you are now.

3. Youth Surge by Clinique. “Unless you’re in some hurry to see 40.” Advertisement. 15 April 2009.

This ad was one grabbed my attention mostly because of the turtle. However, I noticed that my reaction to this ad changed as the longer I looked at it.

First, the ad appealed to me with the cuteness of the image. Second, I found the ad a bit disturbing with what being compared with a turtle implied. Third, I became unnerved by the message because it implied that 40 is not an age to one should want to look. Fourth, I made the connection of why a turtle had been used. The turtle, the ad states, is nearly 60 years of age and does not look “a day over 30”. While I was relieved to finally understand why a turtle had been used, I was disappointed with its offensive stance on age. Is 30 old? Is 40 too old? What about the turtle of 60 years in age, is she too old? Or is this turtle just right because no one knows she’s 60 because she only looks 30?

Clinique makes some very strong, yet conflicting statements with this ad that I wasn’t sure were entirely tasteful.

4. "Rita Levi Montalcini, Nobel Prize-Winning Scientist Turns 100, Still Works” The Huffington Post. 18 Apr. 2009.

This was an interesting article I found both inspiring and concerning. While I found it inspiring to see an accomplished scientist still working in her field with the confidence and clarity of mind that some others her age or even younger lack, I was not sure I would want to be working that long into my life. However, in the turmoil our economy now stands, I believe we will continue to see more and more people working well past the traditional retirement ages of the past. I can only hope that like Ms. Montalcini, we will have the clarity of mind and vigor to live such long and fulfilling lives.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.